LIFE IS ROUGH when you are going through a tough time

Well, my dad has been a walking miracle for many, many years. He has gone through 2 open heart surgeries, cancer removal of the colon area, stints placed in his heart, arteries replaced in his legs and cancer on is ear lobe. So yes, he has been on borrowed time for quite a long time. I believe that he had his first heart attack when he was only 42. A few weeks back, he was acting strange and saying bizarre things. He was confused but then he would be fine. Very weird! So my mom made an appointment for him to see the doctor because she believed he either suffered a stroke or was starting into alzeheimers. They went to the doctor. The doctor ordered bloodwork and an MRI. The MRI showed that he didn't suffer a stroke and that he isn't in the early stages of alzeheimers. Good news, right? WRONG!! The doctor informed my mom and dad that my dad's brain is shrinking. Sounds strange to me. How can your brain shrink? Well, my dad has the hardening of the arteries disease. This has caused many of his problems. His arteries build up with plaque and the only way to get rid of it is by surgery. His last leg surgery, they had to use an artificial artery because he had no more useable arteries in his legs. They previously were able to take a part of an existing artery and replace the bad section. He has had that done sooooooo many times that they couldn't do that anymore. I know, this all seems technical. Trust me, I haven't understood a lot of it!!! Because he has this disease, the arteries to the brain are becoming defected in that I believe that the blood flow to the brain has decreased which is causing his brain to shrink. Crazy isn't it? My husband made the comment that they say we only really use 10% of our brain so why does it matter if his brain is shrinking. I told him that under different circumstances, I believe it wouldn't really matter but because the blood flow to the heart is slowly disappearing, I think that is why it is a problem. I don't know though because I AM NOT A DOCTOR nor do I think that I know everything. This is just my answer on the whole thing. Anyways, the doctor pulled my mom aside and said that we are to enjoy him as we can. What does this mean? Well, my dad's borrowed time is about to expire. We have no idea when or how long we have. It is really difficult for me because I hate not knowing how long. I think I would feel better if I knew that we had 1 week, 1 month, several months or a year or two. I have come to grips that my dad has been sick for a VERY, VERY long time and that he won't be here to watch my girls grow up but it has really hit me hard!!! I know that GOD's hand is on the whole thing but I want to know when! Are we allowed to know how much time we have with him? I hate knowing that Mara and Mariana will not have their "Papa" growing up. I hate that Mariana hasn't even really gotten to know him like Mara has. I hate that life has to end. I know that this is what life is all about. That we will all die someday. Some sooner than others but it is just really, really hard. In a perfect world, we would all just be taken up to Heaven without having to deal with the pain of losing loved ones. But we don't live in a perfect world! I am just praying that my dad doesn't have to suffer anymore than he has for so many years but it is hard to let him go. I want to know that he will be going to Heaven but I am not sure of that and I think that is the hardest part of the whole thing. He knows that GOD has brought him through oh so many times and he really knows that God had His hand on him before one of the surgeries that he has had but that is all I see. I know that he did ask God into his life back when he had his last open heart surgery but he didn't change his life style at all. So I just need comfort from the Holy Spirit in knowing where he is gonna be for eternity! I know that Mike and I need to have a talk with him to see. I wished that my parents would go to church on a regular basis somewhere but they don't. I know that I am rambling on but this is just soooooo difficult right now. Please, if you feel led, keep my family and I in your prayers. We really need them! Thanks for letting me get this off of my chest. May God keep you safe in HIS arms!!!