I AM FEELING JIPPED!

I know that I don't really blog unless something is really on my heart. I am feeling jipped! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE MY GIRLS! I am so blessed to have such wonderful girls who show me that a child's love is unconditional just like our love should be. I feel jipped that I didn't get to have a boy! I know, I shouldn't be feeling this way but I don't know why I am! A lot has been going on in my life that I am feeling very overwhelmed and I guess my emotions are getting the best of me. I know there are people who aren't able to have children, so I should feel great, huh? I know there are people who were only able to have 1 child, I should feel great, huh? Seriously, don't get me wrong I LOVE MY GIRLS!! I LOVE THEM BEYOND ALL MEASURE! I wouldn't trade them in for a million dollars but I feel jipped. Those of you who have had a boy and a girl, won't understand where I am coming from. Those of you who have had only children of the same sex, I don't know if you have felt the way I am feeling right now. I feel like I shouldn't be feeling this way but I am. THAT IS THE TRUTH! WHY do I feel this way? Why do I feel like God overlooked me? Why do I feel that IT ISN'T FAIR? Why do I feel like Mike's namesake is finished here? There is no boy to carry on the name for HIS family! Why oh why? It is getting harder and harder for me to rejoice with those who tell me, "Oh I am having a girl and they already have a boy"? I just want to say SO! I don't want to hear about it! I don't want to be happy for them! I know that isn't the best attitude to have but it is how I am feeling! I just want to tell them, IT ISN'T FAIR! It isn't fair that God chose you to have one of each when you need help taking care of your kids! It isn't fair that God gives you the desires of your heard and He doesn't give me the desires of MY HEART! It isn't fair that I try to do my best and follow HIM and He doesn't HEAR ME! I am just being completely open and honest right now! I know I am not the best mom or housewife or even the best Child of God. I know that I feel like God doesn't hear me! Why do I feel like there are so many more important things in life than what I AM FEELING? Some days, I just want to say forget it all and RUN AWAY as fast as I can and never look back! I wish I could explain my feelings. Only God knows the answers and He may feel that I don't need to know. He wants me to just hold on to HIS promises and not worry about tomorrow or yesterday. He wants me to just focus on the PRESENT! It is so hard sometimes to walk this life! It is so hard sometimes to take persecution from people who you thought LOVED YOU! It is a rough road to walk for the LORD! I know He didn't have an easy, happy go lucky life! HE was ridiculed! He was persecuted! He was abandoned! He walked on this earth to save us! I know all of this but I FEEL LIKE HE OVERLOOKS ME!! Why can't I just feel like things are going my way? I know that I have jumped around with my thoughts but this is a blog, a journal, a diary! I can jump around all I want to! Thanks for letting me speak my mind and not judging how I am feeling! I PRAISE GOD for giving me TWO WONDERFUL GIRLS WHO LOVE ME UNCONDITIONALLY, even when I am having a bad day! I praise GOD for a wonderful husband who will buy me a little present for NO REASON AT ALL, not that I DON'T love him if he doesn't get me things! I praise GOD for getting me through these days that I FEEL JIPPED and unheard! I praise GOD when things are rough and when things are smooth! I PRAISE HIM!!!

Here is a song to listen to just because HE IS HOLY!!